Tag Archives: Bill Belichick

Jason Bay to Belichick: ‘The best defense is a good offense’

Letters continue to pour into Foxboro. On Monday, former Sox skipper Grady Little outlined why Bill Belichick ruined his life. Yesterday, Larry Lucchino sent the Patriots coach some words of encouragement. And today, free agent Red Sox outfielder Jason Bay:

Dear Bill,

I’m with you, dude. Why is everybody overvaluing defense so much these days? The writers, the fans, the coaches, the front offices. Everyone is doing it! Why can’t we go back to the glory days a decade or two ago, when runs (or points) on the scoreboards were what earned guys the big bucks?

Needless to say, I was right with you all the way when you went for it on fourth down on Sunday night. Minimizing the effects of a suspect defense and concentrating on such a worthy strength as high-powered offensive prowess is just fine by me.

Look, you’re talking about a top-tier offensive unit led by one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game. It’s pretty simple. If you can’t keep the other team from scoring, you better be able to beat them at their own game. Outslug the bastards.

Six or seven times out of 10, you would have picked up that first down and the game would have been over. I’ll take those percentages every time in my profession.

It’s really not fair when you think about it. Tom Brady throws for almost four hundred yards and three touchdowns. Yet, somehow, everyone forgets about that beautiful, high-flying home run ball to Randy Moss. All they want to talk about is some isolated, relatively rare moment when he didn’t manage to generate a positive play.

I’ll admit it, I’m a hockey fan. I’ve never understood certain things about football and punting is one of those things. There really is no place for it in the modern game. It isn’t 1950 anymore. Why is it that people insist on perpetuating antiquated concepts? Offense is what professional sports teams should be focused on these days.

When it comes down to putting asses in the seats, there’s nothing more effective, more exhilarating than a high-powered offense anchored by a guy who hits a bunch of dingers…or throws a ton of touchdown passes.

Punting on fourth-down-and-two? That’s like Big Papi or Youk laying down a bunt with guys on base. What a waste!

I weep for the next generation if this is the direction professional sports is headed. I really hope everyone comes to their senses in a hurry and realizes that Albert Einstein was right: ‘The best defense is a good offense.’

– Jay Bay, free agent middle-of-the-order slugger, walk machine, run producer (and outfielder)

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Larry Lucchino to Belichick: ‘Thanks for the assist’

Grady Little’s email to Bill Belichick that appeared on Fenway Pastoral on Monday night was apparently not the only letter sent to the New England Patriots coach by someone with ties to the Red Sox. To wit:

Dear Bill,

That was awesome. It really was. I admit it. I don’t know the first thing about football, but I guess going for it on fourth down deep in your own territory is kind of a big deal, huh? I’ve faked my way through enough cocktail parties during which a football game was on TV to know that we can do just about anything we want this week and the spotlight is going to remain on you.

Originally, our public relations people were thinking the day before Thanksgiving or perhaps the day after for the annual announcement on ticket prices increases at Fenway Park. Now, though? I’m thinking we didn’t raise them nearly as much as we could have.

I know, I know. We’re raising ticket prices in this economy. Deal with it. If we had known you were going to stir such a ridiculous media frenzy, maybe we would have had a trade in place to deal away David Ortiz, too.

Sometimes good fortune just falls into your lap unexpectedly. I’ve gotta tell you, this is one of those rare moments you savor. You guys have stolen the spotlight away from us a number of years during the crucial ‘Hot Stove’ period in late fall and early winter with your perennially competitive, sometimes dominant teams. Unfortunately, the timing has often been quite poor for us. When we make a splash in free agency or via trade, we don’t want it to get swallowed up in the news cycle just because Tom Brady throws four touchdown passes against a mediocre defense.

Other times, though? When we have to issue a regrettable press release that will be construed by some in Red Sox Nation as a slap in the face? Well, let’s just say you’re something of a hero in our PR offices right now. Sure, some of the minions lost some sleep late Sunday night expediting the seat price increases press release. But it was definitely worth it from where I’m sitting.

Looking ahead to next fall, we’ve got a lot of decisions to be made that could be unpopular. If we do have to let Big Papi or Josh Beckett walk, we would definitely  appreciate some help during November sweeps week when the Colts are in town. Maybe next year, you can try a fake punt inside your own 20-yard-line with under two minutes to go?

Like this year, every blowhard and their mother will undoubtedly pontificate on whether or not they agreed with your decision. Meanwhile, we’ll remain Boston’s media darlings no matter what we do. After all, we’re the Red Sox. Face it, Bill, it’s a baseball town. What the hell have you done in the last five years?

Larry Lucchino, Red Sox President and CEO

Grady Little to Belichick: ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’

New England Patriots personnel received a disturbingly angry email addressed to coach Bill Belichick that was sent to the Foxboro offices early Monday morning in the wake of the team’s 35-34 loss to the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday night.

Dear Bill,

I am so mad at you that I cannot contain myself from pooping and peeing myself, repeatedly. I am beside myself with rage. Who in the world do you think you are? Your horrendous decision making has ruined my life and I despise your very existence. Had your Wikipedia page not been locked for editing, I would have created an account simply to embellish horrific stories about you in your biography section.

Don’t you have any clue about the impact of your decisions? Have you absolutely no respect for reason and rationality? An entire region of loyal, goodhearted fans is confused and dumbfounded by your stupidity. You intended to defy steep odds with your own foolish whims and hunches. Look, now, where it has gotten you.

There’s a reason why statisticians are employed by every professional sports team except the Kansas City Royals. There is a set cadence to this world and you gosh darn better follow it. Without a set order of things, nothing would matter. Anarchy would rule and everyone would just do whatever the heck they felt at any particular moment. That’s not how the world works. YOU ALWAYS PUNT THE BALL ON FOURTH DOWN AND TWO FROM YOUR OWN 28 YARD LINE!!!

You punt that ball, Bill. You punt it. That’s the way NFL coaches have been doing it for years. And that’s the way they’ll continue to do it. That late in the game, Bill, what the players do is insignificant. It’s what you do as a coach to ensure they win the game in the consistent, conventional way that they’re used to.

I can’t even believe we’re having this discussion. I hate yelling at the TV. I really do. I’ll never understand it. Never. I am a god-fearing Christian man with love in my heart and tenderness in my soul, but I will never forgive you for this unnecessary pain and anguish. These games mean something. Winning against a hated rival matters. It matters!

It will be days before I can even think about leaving my house. All I can do now is curl up in my bed, eat my grits and try to forget it all. Perhaps by Wednesday, I will stop shaking with anger. Don’t bother giving us a bunch of convoluted percentages and witchcrafty mathematical formulas. You made the wrong decision and now you have to live with it.

– Grady Little