Larry Lucchino to Belichick: ‘Thanks for the assist’

Grady Little’s email to Bill Belichick that appeared on Fenway Pastoral on Monday night was apparently not the only letter sent to the New England Patriots coach by someone with ties to the Red Sox. To wit:

Dear Bill,

That was awesome. It really was. I admit it. I don’t know the first thing about football, but I guess going for it on fourth down deep in your own territory is kind of a big deal, huh? I’ve faked my way through enough cocktail parties during which a football game was on TV to know that we can do just about anything we want this week and the spotlight is going to remain on you.

Originally, our public relations people were thinking the day before Thanksgiving or perhaps the day after for the annual announcement on ticket prices increases at Fenway Park. Now, though? I’m thinking we didn’t raise them nearly as much as we could have.

I know, I know. We’re raising ticket prices in this economy. Deal with it. If we had known you were going to stir such a ridiculous media frenzy, maybe we would have had a trade in place to deal away David Ortiz, too.

Sometimes good fortune just falls into your lap unexpectedly. I’ve gotta tell you, this is one of those rare moments you savor. You guys have stolen the spotlight away from us a number of years during the crucial ‘Hot Stove’ period in late fall and early winter with your perennially competitive, sometimes dominant teams. Unfortunately, the timing has often been quite poor for us. When we make a splash in free agency or via trade, we don’t want it to get swallowed up in the news cycle just because Tom Brady throws four touchdown passes against a mediocre defense.

Other times, though? When we have to issue a regrettable press release that will be construed by some in Red Sox Nation as a slap in the face? Well, let’s just say you’re something of a hero in our PR offices right now. Sure, some of the minions lost some sleep late Sunday night expediting the seat price increases press release. But it was definitely worth it from where I’m sitting.

Looking ahead to next fall, we’ve got a lot of decisions to be made that could be unpopular. If we do have to let Big Papi or Josh Beckett walk, we would definitely  appreciate some help during November sweeps week when the Colts are in town. Maybe next year, you can try a fake punt inside your own 20-yard-line with under two minutes to go?

Like this year, every blowhard and their mother will undoubtedly pontificate on whether or not they agreed with your decision. Meanwhile, we’ll remain Boston’s media darlings no matter what we do. After all, we’re the Red Sox. Face it, Bill, it’s a baseball town. What the hell have you done in the last five years?

Larry Lucchino, Red Sox President and CEO

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