The blockbuster deal that sent Adrian Gonzalez from San Diego to Boston in exchange for three Red Sox prospects had the region buzzing at a feverish pitch back in early December.
Unfortunately, somebody—or everybody—forgot to alert The Governor.
As the nominative head honcho of a state that hemorrhaged jobs over the past two years, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick says he would have done everything in his power to block the “3-for-1” deal between the Red Sox and Padres.
“This deal, which I cannot believe I am just hearing about now nearly four months later, is a symbolic disaster for our state’s psyche,” Patrick told Fenway Pastoral earlier this week from a jet flying over the Atlantic Ocean. “If we continue to lose three jobs for every one we gain, the entire state of Massachusetts will be on welfare by…Well, I’m not sure how soon, but probably pretty darn soon.”
Patrick apparently first learned of the blockbuster deal late last week, just days after Gonzalez played in his first spring training game due to an extended recovery process stemming from offseason shoulder surgery.
Now, he’s demanding some answers from Red Sox owner John Henry.
“I’d like Mr. Henry to explain to the good people of Massachusetts how he can justify shipping three fine, hard-working blue collar workers (Casey Kelly, Anthony Rizzo and Reymond Fuentes) out to San Diego for but one, already handsomely paid employee from California.”
Patrick scoffed when told all three prospects played out-of-state in 2010 as part of the Red Sox organization’s minor league affiliates in Greenville, S.C. (in Rizzo’s case) and Portland, Maine.
“I’ve glanced over the projections. The fact is all three of those guys would have likely been tax-paying workers residing in Massachusetts within the next three years,” says Patrick. “Theo Epstein should be fired for orchestrating such a crooked deal and the ownership group should be levied a heavy fine for this heist.”
The Governor was not finished.
“Curt Schilling should be punished as well. I’m positive he had something to do with this,” he fumed. “He should be ashamed of himself.”
Told of Gonzalez’s beautiful, inside-out batting stroke from the left side of the plate that should nicely complement right-handed Kevin Youkilis, Patrick only sounded more infuriated.
“Well that’s great, but who the heck are they going to get to play left field now that Jason Bay is gone?”
Fenway Pastoral 